I didn't hear anything from Razan. Dante couldn't bear to visit at the hospital after that day. I made a clear apology to both Sarah and Aseel, for what happened in the past. Also, today is the day I leave the hospital.
"Kate... Will you take me to Dante?" I asked. "I thought you'd never ask." She replied as we went to see him. She made sure he saw me, then she left.
Awkward silent... "How could you?!" He asked. I had to confront him.
"It was wishful thinking... I'm sorry." I said. "That's crazy..." He sat from where he was standing. "Your crazy!"
I went and sat next to him. Dante was too shocked by what I did. I still had to explain myself to him. "Back when I was 7, I nearly lost my life... Though I was saved by an angel." I began to explain. "Why are you telling me this?" He asked. "Because I had wishful thinking." I thinking Dante realized what I was trying to say and stayed silent.
"When I met that angel, my life suddenly had a purpose, I wanted to be everything for that angel... Because I thought it was the only way to show my gratitude. Though later that angel flew away. I was roaming this world alone. I wanted to see that angel again... That's all." My voice shivered around the end.
"That angel won't come for your aid." He stated. "Seems like it." I managed to say.
He wrapped his arms around me. "I'll be your guardian angel from now on. So don't pull such stuns on me." He whisper. My face flashed red.
Razan
I didn't wanna see Feras anymore. I left the house and wandered around... I heard baby cries I remembered, Mubarak... My mom can take care of Mubarak. What am I doing? I thought. When I looked up I realized that I was outside her apartment door. I wonder if she'll come if I waited for her here.
Though how will she react?
I found the keys in the same place she usually hide them and opened the door. The room seemed endlessly dark. Yet somehow, it felt like her. I just sat there wishing that she will come back. that she would find me here and wear that gentle smile of hers. I don't know how long I sat there... I even realized then that I didn't have my mobile with me... I only had the other phone she gave me.
Kate
When I left Sienna's room after giving her the envelop. I noticed Tariq in the waiting room. "Tariq... Why are you sitting here?" I asked. "I can't leave yet... What if she does it again." His voice was shaky. "I'm sure she wouldn't now." I said. "How can you tell for sure?" He asked. "I just gave her a reason to hang on to life." I grinned.
"Thank you." I could feel happiness from his voice. He really cared about his sister. At that moment I've also realized that I cared about Sienna more than I would care to admit. I nodded. "Kate... Do you wanna talk about what happened that day?" He asked. I know he was referring to the time I found Sienna. I wonder... Can it be interpreted to words?
Flash back
When I woke up... I heard the water running and Sienna wasn't in bed. I looked at the bathroom door and it was half opened. The sink wasn't running any water so it must be the bathtub. As I got closer to the bathroom... I could see red all over the flood. I panicked, I didn't wanna go any further nor did I want to see what was there. Though, my body won't listen... I just kept going forward. I was screaming on the inside, but my body acted differently.
Sienna was soaked in the tub... It was red all over, even the bubbles were red. Her left hand was cut by a razor blade. I know because it was on the bathroom floor. I was instantly next to Sienna. "Hey... Sienna, don't play such a mean game on me.." I mentally couldn't accept this. I touched her face it was still warm. I ran out of the bathroom and called for help. She was loosing too much blood. I took out a piece of cloths to slow down her bleeding. "Please, don't die."
I didn't know what it meant at the time but now I understand. "There's nothing to talk about." I replied.
Sienna
As I left Dante's place my phone rang. "Hello" I answered the phone. "Hey Sienna, how are you?!" Aunt Fatima asked. It's so unusual for her to call me. I was always the one to call her. "I'm alright, what's up?" I replied. It didn't sound like she knew about my suicide attempt. "...have you by any chance heard from Razan?" She sounded troubled. For her to ask me that... I was sure that Razan was in some kind of trouble.
"When did she leave the house?" I asked. "She left 4 nights ago... And she didn't take her cellphone with her." She explained. Just what exactly are they thinking waiting till now to call me? I hang up the phone without saying anything. I called Sarah.
"Hello." She answered. "Sarah, you mentioned that you told Razan about what I did..." I said. "Yeah" she replied. "How did you contact her exactly?" I asked. "I texted her." She answered. "Did she write you back?" I wondered. "No." She said. I hung up again without saying anything. I called Kate and she said she didn't hear from Razan either.
That means that Razan isn't in Spain. I need to go back to the country. I went to the airport and booked an urgent ticket. I flew back as soon as I could. I remembered the phone I gave her. So I called. It rang three times. "Hello." She said. I was in loss of words... "Hi." I replied.
"Will you come home?" She asked. "Um." I replied and went straight to my apartment. I wasn't hallucinating was I? I didn't find my key in its usual place. So I knocked the door. She opened the door then there was some awkward silent. I didn't move. "Aren't you coming in?" She asked. "Um." I replied and entered my apartment.
"Okayri Sie-chan." She grinned. "T-tadaima." I replied. Razan was wearing an apron and making food in the kitchen. She turned off the stove and came toward me. "Sie-chan... You look pale. You haven't been eating again have you?" She said. "I'm sorry." I replied.
"Your lucky I made you dinner." She said. "It sure smells good." I smiled. She sat up the table and asked me to sit. As I sat she sat on my lap and held me. "I wanna feed you this time around." She said. I nodded.
After dinner she held my hand and walked to the bed room. "Let's take a bath together." She said and I nodded. I was still in loss of words.
After the bath she jumped in bed. I sat at the edge of the bed with a towel around my neck. She wrapped her arms around me from behind. "I missed you." She said. I couldn't see her face. "I've missed you more." I replied. "Can we stay like this for a little while?" She asked as I felt her tears on my shoulder. She wouldn't make a sound. I patted her head as an approval.
That night she didn't say anything about my scars or the half healed wound. Neither of us could sleep that night. We simply lied there all night. Razan was listening to my heartbeats and tracing every scar on my arm with her fingertips as if she was counting my scars. I don't know why... I just didn't want morning to come.
Razan
I wanna correct things and keep her here, how can I do that?! As I was lost in thoughts listening to her heartbeats I realized that it was dawn already. I got up and sat on top of Sienna. "We should talk properly now." I suggested. She nodded.
We gazed each other for awhile. "I..." I tried to say but she coved my mouth. "I heard you the first time." She said. I was surprised. "Let's try to have a normal relationship." She said. Even though, that was exactly what I was trying to say, part of me didn't want it.
"Sie..." I said. "Tell me." She caressed my cheek. "C-can we live in this fantasy for a while first?" I shied away but she made me look at her again and with a most beautiful smile.. One I've never seen before she nodded.
On our second night together Sienna played me a song that she wrote for me. It was beautiful. Also one the fifth night I overheard her playing a different song. It was one that I've never heard before. As I heard the song I couldn't help but to wonder what kind of pain that Sienna's been through.
Though before the song ended, it pictured her sorrow in the cruelest way. I didn't realized it until she embraced me. I was crying silent tears, though in her arms I couldn't hold it any longer. She didn't ask why I was crying, nor did she ask the next day. Though I believe in her heart she knew I heard that song.
A week has passed since we been living together without hearing from anyone in the wold. I wish we could live like this forever. As I was cleaning up the room I found a folded piece of paper. I think it fell from Sienna's cloths. So I unfolded the paper to check
Dear Sienna,
Thank you for the music... You saved my life. I guess you heard that a lot by now. I'm so silly thinking the song was for me. I was on the berg of breaking... I was evening willing to commit suicide. Though your song saved my life. I'm convinced that you wrote the song for me. So Thank you.
I selfishly beg of you to keep singing and making music. Your music became my strength. I know I can face the world when I hear your songs. I hope this letter would mean something to you and the home made cookies are my way of showing my gratitude. I hope you liked the cookies. I've put my heart into making them...
Xoxo, Amber.
P.S. If you ever felt down, or if someone ever discouraged you... Remember that you've saved someone's life.
I wish I could support Sienna that way. When I looked up Sienna was already awake and she realized I was reading the letter. She gestured for me to go back to bed with her. I went there and handed her the paper. She kinda throw it away, well she put it away actually.
"Your way too energetic lately." She said. I totally didn't expect that. She held me and lied back in bed. "Sienna it's 1 pm..." I was saying though she covered my mouth. "Just a little bit longer." She said. I guess fantasy work best for both of us.
Though the fantasy came to an end faster than both of us hoped. That night Sienna got a call from Kate. They spoke a little over an hour. In the other room... So I don't really know what they spoke of.
Sienna looked irritated when she came out. The last time I saw her wearing that expression was back when we were 6. Just what in the world did they speak of?
"Sie..." I called after her. Her expression changed when she looked at me... Just like when we were little. "...is everything alright?" I asked. "Well... I guess. Though its time for me to face the music." She said. We're making a little progress she just admitted that there is trouble on the way.
I went up to her and hugged her tightly. "Will you tell me... What happens?" I asked. "I will." She replied. I know I shouldn't be happy about something like this. But at least I'll hear her talk.
"Razz.. get dressed, I'll take you home." she said. We changed our clothes and was about to leave the apartment. "I'll probably only be in Spain for a week." She said. "I'll be waiting for your return." I replied.
We got on her motorcycle, and she dropped me home. I kissed her goodbye as she left. When I entered the house mom was waiting for me with Mubarak. "Feras left." She said. Part of me wasn't bothered.
Aseel
"What are you saying?" I asked. "I'm saying we grew apart musically." She said. "What do you mean? they are both skilled." I asked. "I mean I want out of the band and your free to play with them of course." She said.
"What makes you think that I wanna still be in the band if your not?" I asked. "You were playing with them when I left." She replied. "I was playing because I wanted you to see me." I mumbled and left the room.
Sarah came to the living room and sat in the couch in front of me. Kate was at the house in half an hour. "Aseel, what is she thinking?!" Kate asked me. I looked away. "What the fuck guys? Sienna is just out of the hospital and we have 3 concerts in the up coming weeks." Kate yelled.
"You can take the lead, the contract with the label is ending in a month and I can bail whenever I want. That was part of the contract too." Sarah said calmly. "What about Sienna?!" Kate was frustrated.
"What about Sienna?" Sarah wondered. "SARAH.. Don't act dump on me!!" Kate yelled while grabbing Sarah's cloths. "Kate that's enough." I said as I got them away from each other. "Don't get me wrong, Kate. I value her friendship. Though the band is a different story." Sarah said.
Kate still looked frustrated. "Has anyone heard from Sienna after she got out of the hospital?" I asked. "A week ago, she said she's with Razan." Kate mumbled. "These two should really get on with it already." Sarah commented. We both stared as her. "What? You're all thinking it." She said. "Kate call Sienna and tell her about the situation." I shrugged. Kate nodded and went outside to speak with Sienna.
"Hey, are you mad at me?" Sarah asked. "No... Just go easy on Sienna for a little while." I replied. "Stating the obvious is making me some sort of villain now?" She sighed. "That's not what I said." I said. She reached for my hand and asked me to sit next to her. As we waited for Kate to come back.
Kate
I feel a sense of responsibility towards Sienna lately. I heard the sound of a car engine when I looked up she was there. "Are they inside?" She asked. She was so calm as if it was a happy day. I couldn't help but to calm down when I saw her like that.
"Hey girls." She grinned and hugged & kissed both of them. She sat on the table in front of the sofa where they were sitting and faced them with a gentle smile. "Kate told me over the phone that you were planning to leave the band." Sienna said while holding Sarah's hand. "It deeply saddened me." She wore a hurt expression.
I believe Sarah was speechless. "Sarah, your one of the most talented people I know. Your music bring out the best in me. If not for me, then for your fans. Please keep playing music." She said.
I couldn't see Sarah's expression, but Aseel's jaw was dropped open. "Excuse me." Sarah said, then she held Aseel's hand and left the room with her. "Are you okay Sienna?" I asked. She nodded. Half an hour have passed already and they are not back.
"Kate... There is a song I wrote last week. I want you to hear it.... And maybe we can play it on our next concert." She said. "Sure." I replied. I think an hour has passed before they were back.
"Sienna, I truly appreciate your speech earlier..." Sarah was saying. "It want a speech, I truly meant it." Sienna interrupted. Sarah's face went bright red. I never know she was the type to get shy. Aseel whispered something in her ear and Sarah ran upstairs.
"Sienna how did you do it?" Aseel asked. Sienna looked confused. Sarah ran back into the living room and she was back to normal. "I apologize Sienna. Even though I do value our friendship still. Your one of...no you're the only true friend I ever had. But I can't stay in the band." She said.
Sienna went up to Sarah. She caressed her cheek, looked her in the eye and said "how unfortunate. I wish to hear you play again, my Friend."
Sienna kissed Sarah's forehead. "Sienna... Stop flirting with my.. My wife." Aseel's face went red as she said those words. "Aseel..." Sienna looked at her. Aseel shied away immediately. "She'll play with you." Sarah answered before Sienna could ask.
Sienna looked at me and smiled. I shied away too. I was surprised about their reaction but I get it now. She looked at me as if am the only person that matters in this world. It's dangerous I almost fell for her.
I've also noticed something that was gonna make me burst in laughter. Both Aseel and Sarah were falling for Sienna. I won't explain how I noticed this though.
"Sienna, come on let's go to Dante's so I cam hear your new song." I said. She nodded and came toward me. Both Sarah and Aseel flee upstairs. As we were leaving I had to ask.
"Sienna..." I called. "Yes." I had her full attention. It's kinda embarrassing. "What happened between you and Razan last week?" I asked. "We became friends." She had the brights smile on her face. Though am totally lost... Aren't they childhood friends already?
As we got to Dante's apartment she looked for him. "I'm back." She said. I couldn't hear their conversation clearly as they were in the bed room.
When they came back to the living room Dante lifted me up as usual and kissing my cheek. "I'm not a child anymore." I argued. I heard Sienna laughter. "Get me down." I frowned.
"I'm just messing with you." He said and patted my head. I was irritated now. "Stop bothering Katie." Sienna said and she hugged me. "She's so cute. I can't help it." He said. "Isn't she?" Her eyes were glowing as she poked my check. This is so wrong. They are both toying with me.
"So Can I keep her?" Dante ask Sienna. "No, I'm keeping her." She said. "Hey, both of you I'm not a pet for you to keep." I yelled. "Kate.." Sienna said with a straight face, looking me in the eyes. "Yes." I said. It felt serious. "...your the cutest thing ever!" She said. This is too much I went all red.
"What the hell did you give her Dante?" I yelled. "Nothing I swear." He put up his hands. "Sienna would you let me hear your song already." I asked. "Um." She grinned. I'm glad that she seems happy now. Dante went to his bedroom. Sienna grabbed my electric guitar and plugged it in.
She played a very sad heavy sound. It brought me to tears. When she finished she put down the guitar and embraced me. Just what is this. I couldn't stop myself from crying even if I tried. "I love the song." I sniffed. "I'm glad." She said. She didn't comment on my tears... Is it the reaction she expected. Or is it because she understood the tears?
Sienna
I went back to the country to see Razz. She said she'll wait for my return. I've longed to hear her say those words. When I got there her mom answered the door. She told me that Razz is in her bedroom and that I could go see her. That meant that Feras wasn't around, perfect.
When I entered her room she was laying in bed. "Sienna..." She called in her sleep. I sat at her bed side and caressed her cheek. "I'm right here." I said. "She opened her eyes and held my hand. "I'm cold." She said. It was winter and her room was cold. I took off my coat and covered her with it. Then I lied next to her to warm her up.
"How long will you stay?" She asked. "Three days." I replied. She wrapped her arms around me and leaned closer. As if saying 3 days aren't enough, but she won't say it out loud. "What happened in Spain?" She asked. "Sarah left the band." I replied. "Does she have commitment issues?" She asked. "I think she just realized that she developed faster than the band. She's as good as Tariq, if not even better." I explained.
"You really admire her, huh?" Razz wondered. "Of course, she's an outstanding musician." I replied. "Does that mean Aseel is out too?" She asked. "No Aseel is still with us." I answered. "When is your concert again?" She wondered. "It's in 4 days." I replied.
"I miss seeing you play." She implied. She's trying her best not to ask for anything. "I'll take you with me then." I said. "Are...." She was about to say. I stopped her. "It's final." I said. She blush.
For some reason recently all the girls became shier than usual. I fell asleep next to her as we were holding each other. It's morning and Feras didn't get here. Should I ask about him? Why bother? I woke up before Razan this time and made her breakfast. Mubarak can crawl now. Even though its only been a week.
I held him and played with him a little. "Good morning." Razan said as she entered the kitchen. "Morning." I replied and kissed her forehead. "Dada dada." Mubarak was trying to say something. Aunt Fatima came into the kitchen and took him from me.
"Mom, I'm going to Spain with Sienna in 3days." Razan told her mom. "Have fun you two." She replied. Razan looked at me and grinned. We fell back to our old habits. I fed her breakfast, she sat in my lap as we watched TV together. I hummed her a lullaby as we went to sleep. Through out the day we took pictures together and shared them with our friends.
The next day she said she wanted to go out. So we went to a movie and did some shopping. We bought baby cloths for her daughter that's on the way. We ate out as well and visited Farah since we haven't seen her for a while.
The third day I packed my bag as well as Razan's and then took her to her doctors appointment. After her check up we flew to Spain.
When we got there Kate and Aseel were waiting for us at the airport. They led the way to a limo. Sarah was there standing next to the door. "I told you, they were officially a couple now." She commented. I went up to Sarah and hugged her. "Your gonna play the last 3 gigs for me, aren't you?" I whispered in her ears. Her ears went red. "It's for the fans." She shouted though her face was still bright red.
Razan giggled. "Your wife is cute when she's angry." I patted Aseel's head. "Stop flirting with her though." She mumbled. I chuckled. "It's good to see you again Razan." Kate said as we went into the limo.
Sarah
The most thing I regret that day was when Sienna asked me if I were gonna play the last 3 gigs for her.... I wish I've said I would play them for her. None of us truly thought it was the end.
That day when she played her song for us as we were practicing for the gig. We all became overwhelmed with emotion we couldn't get it together until 3 hours after hearing the song first. Aseel kept dropping her drum sticks 20 seconds after the song begins. We called it a day after 5 tries.
Later that night. "Aseel... I know your strong enough to do it." I said. She hugged tightly and started crying again. "You've seen it haven't you?" I asked. "I'm scared..." She whimpered. She was shivering. I'm not sure how to handle this. "I'll always be here for you, nothing will ever hurt you." I assured her. One that same night I heard knocking on the door.
"Sarah, I wanna ask you a favor." She said. I went with her to the studio as she played me a beautiful song. "Sienna... We should record them both tomorrow!" I told her. "You liked it?" She asked. "I love it." I replied. We lived different lives and suffered different wounds. Though for some reason I feel like I understand her best.
"Sarah... Can we record these song alone?" She asked. What happened during practice pained her. "I don't wanna see them hurt, but you understand the songs right?" She said. "We'll record them alone tomorrow." I assured her. "Thank you." She had a wide smile on her face as she hugged me.
The next night I recorded both songs with her and I even sang with her. She was surprised that I could sing. "Sarah, you have a beautiful voice. You shouldn't hide." She said. "I'm not hiding it... It just that I'm a guitarist." I shied away. She smiled gently. I will never forget that smile. We couldn't play her song except in the last concert.
It's been ten years now...
Today we're holding a concert as memorial for her. Along with 3 up coming bands that are paying their tributes.
"Where is Dante? The show is about to start." I complained. "That guy is such a diva." Kate commented. "He's here." Tariq announced. "What are you wearing?" Aseel asked. We all laughed. "She dared me to wear that for a concert... But I never did." He said. We all got gloomy. "Let's play her this concert." Kate said as she put her hand out.
We all put our hands together and prayed for her. We also decided to give it our best. Aseel kissed me for good luck she says. "For her." Kate looked at me with a faded smile. I nodded as we went on stage.
Right before I entered the stage, Razan stopped me. She was there with her son and daughter. "Please show them... What they've missed." She whimpered. "Naka nai de." I wiped way her tears. I leaned towards her. "Sienna is still here." I whispered and pointed at her heart.
We sang 4 song then Sienna's song. After that it was time for the song that Sienna wrote for Razan. "This last song was written by Sienna with a special someone in mind... So I would like to dedicated this song for that special someone." As we played the last song.
The End.
Thank you for reading All you Need is One & Ghosts of the Past. I hope you enjoyed them and stay tuned for the next story it's gonna be completely different!
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