The
only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Razan
Flash
back:
“Who
wrote that?” I asked while looking at Sienna’s name on her notebook. “I did.”
Sienna said. “How come your dad’s name is written so beautifully?” I asked. “Hmm…
maybe it’s because I love him.” She answered.
“So
you only write the name of the person you love beautifully?” I was trying to
understand. She nodded. “Write my name!” I requested. She smiled and started
writing. She wrote it so beautifully.
I
hugged her. “So Sienna loves Razan.” I commented. She hugged me back
She
was the only friend I had back then. How did it come to this? I hugged her note
book tight. Then I remembered Feras. She betrayed me. I threw her note book
away. My eyes started tearing. I don’t understand… why?
I
calm down a while after. I copied all the homework since there was no way I
could do it on my own. I’ll give her back her note book on Sunday.
Sienna
That
weekend I wrote the song lyrics, and finished playing all the games I had. I
had an unexpected visit on Saturday as well. While I was in the studio with
Tariq the studio door opened. I looked behind me and it was Waleed.
“Hello.”
Waleed said. “Hi.” I replied and looked at Tariq.”You guys wanted to record a
duet together, didn’t you?” Tariq asked. “Yeah.” I answered. “Well, that’s why
I’m here.” Waleed said. “It’s a cover song that we can release on your album
Sie.” Tariq explained.
“I
have to tell Aseel and Sarah about this.” I said. “They’re on their way. I’ve
already told them.” Tariq assured me. “Alright, what’s the song?” I asked.
“Believe by Staind.” Waleed answered. “But that’s not a duet!” I argued.
“We’ll
make it one.” He grinned. “What are you making without us?” Sarah said as she
entered the studio with Aseel. Tariq laughed. “We’ve been waiting for you
actually.” Waleed shrugged. “Right…” Aseel commented.
“Oh
Sienna, this is the lyrics. The parts where you’re going to sing have your name
on top of them.” Tariq explained. “Sie
will be singing the Chorus together.” Waleed added. I nodded. This is how the
lyrics were:
Sienna
I sit alone and watch the clock
Trying to collect my thoughts
All I think about is you
And so I cry myself to sleep
And hope the devil I don't meet
In
the dreams that I live through
[Chorus]
Believe in me
I know you've waited for so long
Believe in me
Sometimes the weak become the strong
Believe in me
This life is not always what it seems
Believe in me
Cause
I was made for chasing dreams
Waleed
All the smiles you had to fake
And all the shit you had to take
Just to lead us here again
I never have the things to say
To make it all just go away
To
make it all just disappear
[Chorus]
Believe in me
I know you've waited for so long
Believe in me
Sometimes the weak become the strong
Believe in me
This life is not always what it seems
Believe in me
Cause
I was made for chasing dreams
Waleed
Its my life
Its
my choice
Sienna
Hear my words
Hear
my voice
Waleed
And
just believe
Sienna
I sit alone and watch the clock
Trying to collect my thoughts
And
all I think about is you
Waleed
If you believe in me
Life is not always what it seems
Believe in me
Cause
I was made for chasing dreams
[Chorus]
Believe in me
I know you've waited for so long
Believe in me
Sometimes the weak become the strong
Believe in me
This life is not always what it seems
Believe in me
Cause I was made for chasing dreams
So,
we sang. After recording and everything, “Hey Sienna, I want to talk to you
about something.” Sarah said. “Sure.” I replied as we sat down. “We were
thinking about playing a live show. What do you think?” Sarah suggested. “Okay,
but where?” I said.
“At
my school…” Sarah said and showed me the ad of a talent show. “Tomorrow is the
last day to register. Shall we join?” Sarah completed. The ad said that the show
is on Thursday. “Yeah sure, let’s join.” I said.
“One
problem though…” Aseel said. “What?” I question. “We need a name for our band.”
Sarah completed. She handed me the registration form. I took a pen and wrote
‘Unspoken words’ next to the band name then gave the paper back to Sarah.
Both
Aseel and Sarah looked at the paper. “Now that’s a cool name.” Aseel laughed.
“You guys can fill the rest and register.” I commented. Sarah nodded. “So,
what’s your band name Ms. Sienna?” Waleed asked as I was leaving the studio.
“Unspoken
Words.” I said. “Sweet.” He commented. Later that night Tariq came to my room.
“Sienna.” He called. I was sitting in bed reading The Da Vinci Code. “Yes?” I said as I looked up to see him.
“I’ve
been wondering… is Razan back together with Feras?” He asked. “Yeah they’re
back together.” I answered. “Why isn’t she visiting lately?” he asked. “She’s
busy.” I answered. “Oh! I see.” He commented and left.
Razan
Tariq
was standing by my bedroom door while I was having a video call with Feras. “I
have to go. Talk to you late.” I said as I ended the call. I turned and faced
Tariq. “What do you want?” I asked. “Razz, we need to talk. It’s important.” He
said.
“If
it’s about your sister… I don’t think we do.” I replayed. “Yes it’s about her
and you know we need to talk about it.” He insisted. He stepped in and sat on
the edge of my bed. “How well do you know that Feras guy?” He asked.
That
question surprised me. “I thought it was about your sister.” I shrugged.”It is,
but since you stopped talking with Sienna when you got back together with him.
I believe he is part of the problem.” He explained.
“Who
sent you here? Didn’t she tell you what happened?” I tried to make sense of it.
“No, she refused to talk! She just said that you were busy, and that’s why
you’re not visiting us lately.” He answered my confusing.
He
went on, “but you know that girl can’t lie it was written all over her face
that there was something more. So tell me how well do you know him? And for how
long have you known him?” he said. “I
knew him well enough. It’s been 3 months now.” I answered.
“By
3 months do you think you know him better than Sienna?” he questioned. “No, but
what she did is unforgivable.” I defended my actions. “And what did she do
exactly?” he asked. “She tried to steal him away from me.” I said. He laughed
so hard.
It
felt as if I just said a joke. “It’s not funny.” I commented. “Do you honestly
believe what you just said? We’re talking about Sienna here” he said. “I saw
her number in his phone and she didn’t deny calling him.” I explained.
“Razz…
He’s the guy that broke your heart a month ago. She’s the girl that shared all
your sorrow. Think about that and you’ll know why she called him.” He said and
pets me. Why would she call him?
Sienna
Aseel
and I were sitting in the computer lab waiting for our first lesson to start.
“Are you writing any new material by any chance?” Aseel asked. “Yes, No…
Maybe.” I answered. She laughed. “Do you want me to choose an answer?” she
asked.
“If
you may…” I answered. She laughed. “Sienna you’re losing it.” She commented. My
jaw dropped open. “Am I?” I was being sarcastic. The class door was open. I
looked behind me and Razan and Farah were standing there.
“Crazy
much?” Razan commented. She threw my notebook at me and it fell on the floor.
“I believe this belongs to you.” She said. “I’ve been looking everywhere for
it, thank you!” I said. Razan turned and walked away.
“Bitch.”
Aseel murmured. “Aseel stop it!” I said. “Sienna seriously that girl is acting
like a bitch.” Aseel Complained. “Stop talking that way ASEEL!!” I demanded.
“What, you can’t handle the truth?” she argued.
“You’re
no different from the rest…” I commented. That was the last we spoke that day.
When I got home, I decided to practice bass for the talent show and all.
Someone was knocking at my door. “Come in.” I said.
The
door slowly opened. It was Sarah. “Hello.” She said. “Hi.” I replied. “Is your
house always that crowded?” she asked. “You met my family?” I shrugged.
“Wow!
That was your family, five sisters and two brothers?” She asked. “So you met
the whole family and the fifth was probably my mom.” I answered. “Awesome.” she
commented. “Oh! You’re practicing for the show?” she asked. I nodded.
“Our
registry got accepted, we’re in!” she said. “Amazing!!” I commented. “So, what
happened between you and Aseel?” she asked. “Nothing.” I answered. Sarah sat on
the edge of my bed.
“Sienna,
I don’t think my girlfriend would be crying for nothing… you’re the only friend
she has. You know that right?” Sarah said. I nodded. “She’s crying?” I asked.
She nodded. “Take me to her.” I requested.
When
we passed by the living room, “Mom I have to go see Aseel, Sarah is taking me
there.” I said. “Wai3, t7achay 3adil ge6e3a.” Fatima said. “Ro7ay la t25reen.”
Mom said. “Your family is adorable.” Sarah whispered in my ear. I faked a
smile.
“Ana
wedy afham hathy eshlon et6ee7 3ala nas eb hal jamal?” Latifa commented. “5alaw
Sienna eb7alha.” Jassem defended me. “Ee
mashalla wallah refejatha ehablon.” Manar commented.
“What
were they talking about?” Sarah asked when we were outside the house. “Wait you
don’t speak Arabic?” I asked. “No I don’t” she said. “They said you were
beautiful.” I said. She laughed. “Your family is bold.” She commented.
“Tell
me about it” I laughed along with her. I don’t know how to explain things to
Aseel. I can’t bear to see her sad. When we got to her house little Tariq
opened the door. “Sienna he said and hugged me.
“Tariq,
where is my hug?” Sarah complained. He hugged her and she gave him a kiss.
“Aseel is in her room.” Sarah told me. I nodded. I went to Aseel’s room. I can
hear a whimper from outside the door.
Aseel
Someone
was knocking on my door. “It’s opened.” I said my voice was shaking. “Aseel.”
Sienna called me as she opened the door. I wiped away my tears when I saw her.
“Yes?” I said. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to hurt you. I shouldn’t have taken it
out on you.” she said.
“What
did I do wrong Sienna?” I asked. She came and sat next to me. “You didn’t do
anything wrong… it’s just that I was judging passed on my thoughts rather than
understanding your point of view.” She said.
What
did she think of me? “I’m very sorry.” She apologized again. “What were your
thoughts?” I wondered. She sighed. “Remember when you were at my place… the way
my sisters bullied me?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
I answered. “I thought you knew how that felt… I thought that maybe you’re the
only other person in this world that didn’t want to be like them. Though that
is still no excuse for my rudeness…” she trailed off.
“I
might even be turning into one of them.” She finished. “Hey your nothing like
them… don’t say that, I’m the one who should be apologizing to you.” I
explained. “No, you have nothing to apologize for. I know you were trying to be
a good friend.” She assured me.
“I
just don’t want to be like them… that’s all.” She explained. I can tell how
much it hurts her. I hugged her tight. “You’re a great person Sienna. Don’t
ever change.” I assured her. I looked up and Sarah was standing by the door.
“Finally
my girlfriend has a smile on her face.” She commented. My face went red. I love
the fact that she keeps calling me girlfriend. “Sarah you told her about the
talent show right?” Sienna asked. “Right!” Sarah answered.
“We
still need a band logo though.” I said. “I’ll work on it.” Sienna offered.
“Cool!” Sarah commented. “I have to make a call excuse me.” Sienna excused
herself. When she left, “You’re welcome.” Sarah said.
I
hugged Sarah tight and kissed her. “Wow! You guys should fight more often.”
Sarah said. I didn’t understand what she’s talking about. “That was one heck of
a Kiss.” She whispered in my ear. My face flashed red.
Sarah
was about to kiss me when I noticed Sienna at the door. I laughed. Sarah turned
and looked at the door. “It’s just Sienna.” Sarah complained. “I just wanted to
tell you that I’m leaving.” Sienna said. “Bye.” I waved.
Sienna
left. “Where were we?” Sarah said. “I believe we should lock the door first.” I
commented. “Oh! Better ideas…” She commented. I locked the door.
Farah
Whenever
Waleed tells me that he sang with her. I get this feeling that I don’t understand
really. As I was going to school today I overheard my mom talking to my
grandma, saying that she wants to leave dad.
It’s
about time she realized that he wasn’t going to change, I thought. When I got
to school, I wasn’t aware of what was happening around. What will happen to us
though? I though. Suddenly, someone pulled me in the corner.
I
was about to scream but my mouth was covered. "Sheesh, it’s just me."
Sienna said, and uncovered my mouth. "What do you want?" I demanded.
"What did I do to you? I mean, why aren't you talking to me?" Sienna
asked.
"It’s
not about me, it’s about Razan how could you do that to her?" I asked.
"That’s unbelievable not you too. He broke her heart once before, I was
trying to do what’s right for her." Sienna said.
"Since
when you’re capable of telling right from wrong? Just watch your actions first." I
argued. "What does that supposed to mean?" Sienna asked. "Yah
just keep act dump, I'm talking about what you did at the party." I
shouted.
“I
didn’t do anything wrong." Sienna said and started walking away. "That’s
just so typical of you Ms. Sienna. Deny the truth whenever you don’t like it."
I said. "I'm not denying anything. You’re the one who has no idea what is
she talking about." Sienna said.
"I
know that you were dancing with Waleed the whole night and your saying that you
didn’t do anything wrong?" I shouted angrily. “Are you mad because I dance
with Waleed?” Sienna said in a very calm cold tone.
"Yes.
Can’t you see how wrong that is?” I admitted. “I don’t hold any feelings for
him, don’t worry.” She assured me. Did I just feel jealousy and she sensed it?
Aseel was standing next to Sienna now. “Now you’re having back up?” I
commented.
“I’m
no one’s back up. People are watching… stop arguing already.” Aseel said. “We
were just talking.” Sienna said. “Whatever.” I rolled my eyes and left them. What’s
happening to me? Whenever I hear of say his name. It feels funny inside.
Waleed
About
the band, we’re still playing at that café. We finished recording our EP. We’re
going to release it next Friday by playing a Special show. I wanted to know how
the song went. So I called up Tariq.
“Hey,
what’s up Tariq?” I said.”Hey Pete, I’m in the studio mastering Believe.” He
said. “I actually called you, to ask about the song. How is it sounding?” I
asked. “It sounds amazing listen.” He said and played the song.
The
song sounds amazing. “Great job Tariq. Keep up the good work!” I complemented. “Thanks
man, Will do.” He said. “BTW is the talent show thing conformed?” I asked. “Yeah,
Sarah said we’re in.” He answered.
“Wait
your playing with them now?” I asked. “Yeah.” He answered. “Awesome.” I
commented. “I guess.” He said. “You’re still with Burning Corps though, right?”
I asked. “Right.” He said.
“Good
luck with the mastering and the upcoming gig.” I said. “Thanks man! Much
appreciated.” He answered. “See you.” I said and hung up.
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